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Top 10 REJECTED Surgeon General's Warnings:
  1. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking cigarettes while
    masturbating could cause personal injury. Recommend taking a class to adequately prepare for such a task.

  2. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Don't take this fine print too seriously; the feds make us print it.

  3. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: 100% pure tax.

  4. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: No matter how hard you try, you'll never look as cool as Bogart.

  5. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: This cigarette mascot has phallic facial features.

  6. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking during pregnancy can cause your baby to look like Herve Villacheze.

  7. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: If you actually wear the free clothing you get from collecting multiple empty cigarette packs, you will look like a moron.

  8. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined that cigarette smoking may cause women to look like cheap, sleazy sluts.

  9. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Keith Richards is a fluke.

  10. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined that smoking can cause you to lead a pathetic existence sitting in a smelly designated smoking area at your job, freezing your cajones off in the middle of winter.

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