More Dead Princess Di jokes

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(And a requisite Michael Jackson joke.)

Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.tasteless
From: (Mohamed Ragheb)
Subject: [tasteless] Poor Di ...
Organization: Toronto Free-Net
Date: Mon, 8 Sep 1997 02:49:30 GMT

... dead as a Dodi.

And now Burger King is going to offer a Lady Di Combo: Egyptian sausage on an English muffin slathered with ketchup -- and a bottle of Perrier.

Her last words to the paparazzi: "Will you leave me alone already? I'm a bloody princess!"

What did the French hospital say to Charles when he picked up the phone?
Princess die.

How did Princess Diana stay so thin?
Two words: Crash diet.

Do you know what happened to the princess who stayed out after midnight?
She turned into a concrete wall.

What was the last thing that went through Dodi's mind?
His ass.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head & Shoulders on the dashboard.

Why was Princess Diana's lipstick on the steering wheel?
She was blowing the horn.

What was the one thing Princess Diana liked more than a wealthy Egyptian?
A big Pole.

Why do British royalty prefer Mercedes?
They like to make a big impression.

What does Diana have in common with Hugh Grant?
They both bought it in the backseat of a car.

What did the paparazzi do with the little bits of Di's body before the cops arrived?
They made a pizza and took pictures of it.

And, for the finale, one about Michael Jackson (don't ask what the connection is -- there isn't any):

What time does Michael Jackson go to bed?
When the big hand is on the little hand.

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