SWF seeks heavy daddy in big pants. Must have convenience store hours and be unafraid to wear jumpsuit.
-SF Weekly

Warm and sarcastic guy in late 20's wants to take you to a junkyard.
-SF Weekly

My dog and I are alot alike. We're both 35, but look and act younger. We're both fit and trim, have dark hair and eyes, we're handsome, funny, intelligent and like all foods. I don't hump my pillow.
-Bay Area Express

Single white male, early 30's, Bay Area native, fit, kind, nice looking, liberal professional. Seeking an imperfect, intelligent, thin (similar age) female who, like me, has baggage that is small enough to fit under one's seat.
-Bay Area Express

234 yr. old Italian male seeking gorgeous Italian female, 18-24, for romantic dinners, walks & 4-wheel fun.
-Poughkeepsie Journal

Are you an attractive woman with shapely legs, nice figure and a pretty face? He's a man who will treat you well regardless of your personality.
-Detroit Metro Times

SBM is looking for a man who likes to let her toenails grow. Marriage is desired.
-Detroit Metro Times

Baby Maker To women who want babies. I, handsome, WM, will inseminate the natural way.
-Guardian

If you're short/tall, petite/large, young/elderly, blonde/red head/brunette, I'm your man.
-Detroit Metro Times

Seeking sex-loathing insecure woman, terrified of her own body, completely asexual, humorless, narcissistic, for boring conversation, bloody steak dinners, unfiltered Camel smoking marathons, insensitive encounters. Seeker: clitoral-ignorant impotent male.
-SF Weekly

Do you like claustrophoblc spaces? Anti-social young woman seeks someone who hates the light of day. Smokers and drug takers preferred. No vegetarians. I'm mean, nasty and give as good as I get. Any takers?
-Guardian

No Cosmo Readers. Berkeley grad student (24, 5'8", 165lbs, dark hair, eyes, temperament) longs to be seduced by beautiful older woman, 35-ish. My idea of foreplay is getting undressed in front of a mirror. Hobbies include Charlies Angels reruns and baby seal clubbing. You: look great in a bathing suit and can educate me on and off the golf course.
-Guardian