God's re-election campaign

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_GOD'S_REELECTION_CAMPAIGN_
by Ruben Bolling

"My 12 billion-year term is almost up--and I need *your support* for 12 billion more!!"
GOD for SUPREME DEITY
"Hey, His *name* is **God**!"

The campaign was not going well. God's previous inaccessibility made his attempts at positive publicity seem disingenuous. "...And I'm sure this new shopping mall will bring prosperity to the whole tri-county area..."
"Hey, God! I prayed for a job eight months ago, and I'm still out of work!"

Emboldened by the possibility of an ouster, people began expressing

 

 
their dissatisfaction.
"Famine, disease, misery, disasters... I say throw the Bum out." - Dirk Valle, Construction Worker

God's opponent, Norm Drucker, a successful entrepreneur, ran on a business approach.
"I run a pretty darn good chain of car dealerships. I think I can run the Universe *ever better*!"

Drucker's litany of proposals were real crowd pleasers. NORM DRUCKER for SUPREME DEITY
Just a few more NEW IDEAS from Norm Drucker:
#134 a new beverage-holding appendage on all humans
#135 waffle trees
#136 no gravity one hour each day
#137 talking llamas

God tried to counter by revoking some of his less popular tenets, but the polls wouldn't budge.
"Okay. You can use my name in vain. And I'm looking into the adultery thing..."

In a final debate, God's divine wisdom was no match for Drucker's sensational promises.
"He doesn't know anything about ruling the Cosmos! Evil is *necessary* in order for Good to *exist*!"
"Evil! Gone! First 100 days!"

But in the end, God showed why an omnipotent incumbent is so tough to beat.
_New_York_Bugle_
GOD WINS IN "MIRACULOUS" UPSET
Drucker Suddenly Afflicted With Boils

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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