| WIFESPEAK | ENGLISH EQUIVALENT |
|---|---|
| You want | You Want |
| We Need | I Want |
| It's your decision | The correct decision should be obvious by now |
| Do What You Want | You'll pay for this later |
| We need to talk | I need to complain |
| Sure...Go ahead | I don't want you to |
| I'm not upset | Of course I'm upset, you moron |
| You're so... Manly | You need to shave and you sweat a lot |
| You're certainly attentive tonight | Is sex all you think about? |
| I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!! | I'm on my period. |
| Be romantic, turn out the lights | I have flabby thighs |
| The kitchen is so inconvenient | I want a new house |
| I want new curtains | and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... |
| I need wedding shoes | the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white. |
| Hang the picture there | No! Hang it there |
| I heard a noise | I noticed you were almost asleep |
| Do you love me? | I'm going to ask for something expensive |
| How much do you love me? | I did something today you're really not going to like |
| I'll be ready in a minute | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. |
| Is my butt fat? | Tell me I'm beautiful |
| You have to learn to communicate | Just agree with me |
| Are you listening to me? | [Too late, you're dead.] |
| Yes | No |
| No | No |
| Maybe | No |
| I'm sorry | You'll be sorry |
| Do you like this recipe? | It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it |
| Was that the baby? | Why don't you get out of bed and walk her until she goes to sleep? |
| I'M NOT YELLING! | Yes I'm yelling because I think this is important |
| THE ANSWER TO "WHATS WRONG?" | |
|---|---|
| The same old thing | Nothing |
| Nothing | Everything |
| Everything | I have PMS |
| Nothing, really | Its just that you're such an asshole |
| I don't want to talk about it | Go away, I'm building up steam |
