1. Do you and your partner make love
   1. once a month or less?
   2. more than once a month?
   3. 5 times a night?

2. When you make love, do you engage in foreplay
   1. what's foreplay????
   2. for at least 5 minutes?
   3. using a feather duster and a whip?

3. During intercourse, what positions do you use?
   1. under the sheets, with the lights off, thank you very much
   2. various, depending on the mood
   3. tied up in the wardrobe with one foot in a bucket of cold custard

4. During intercourse, do you and your partner
   1. get it over as quickly as possible?
   2. say words of encouragement to each other like "Mmm, that's nice" and "Ooohh, yes, right there"?
   3. beat each other with kippers and lick ice-cream out of each others' armpits?

5. After intercourse, do you
   1. roll over and go to sleep without saying a word?
   2. cuddle your partner and tell them how good it was?
   3. swing from the ceiling-light, yodelling like Tarzan, then pick up an axe and cut a large notch in the headboard while smoking a cigarette?

Your answers

Mostly [A]'s

Perhaps you could try to be a bit more adventurous

Mostly [B]'s

You have a healthy sex-life and a good understanding with your partner

Mostly [C]'s

Let me know your address, I'll be round with a few friends and a 6-pack to watch

Thank you for your co-operation