The Rules of Bedroom Golf

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

  1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment, usually consisting of one club and two balls.

  2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of a hole.

  3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

  4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

  5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

  6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

  7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.


  8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.

  9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

  10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.

  11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

  12. Players are advised to obtain course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

  13. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.

  14. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

  15. The course owner will be the sole judge of the best performer.

  16. Course maintenance responsibility is shared between player and owner. Owner must be notified if lawn needs continual mowing or extermination of harmful living organisms.

  17. Eating in, on, or around the hole is usually acceptable if weather permits. Do not eat during days of heavy precipitation.

  18. Eating in, on, or around the back 9 is forbidden in most cultures.

  19. Only full size shafts are allowed on regulation courses. Those with miniature shafts must play miniature courses.

  20. Practice on other than regulation courses should be controlled and kept to an absolute minimum. Surgeon General warns that prolonged practice periods may result in permanent blindness.

  21. Sharing, groping, and adjustment of other clubs other than your own is considered a mister-meaner.

  22. Violation of the above rules may result in expulsion from coarse as well as club confiscation in extreme cases.

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.