| Ms. Nice Guy | |
|---|---|
| "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have" | |
| Also known as: | What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat |
| Advantages: | Cheerful, agreeable, kindly |
| Disadvantages: | May wise up someday |
| Old Yeller | |
|---|---|
| "You God Damn spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" | |
| Also known as: | She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell |
| Advantages: | Pays attention to you |
| Disadvantages: | Screeches, throws frying pans |
| Sickly | |
|---|---|
| "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite" | |
| Also known as: | Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy |
| Advantages: | Predictable |
| Disadvantages: | Contagious |
| The Bosser | |
|---|---|
| "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." | |
| Also known as: | Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes, Mom |
| Advantages: | Often right |
| Disadvantages: | Often right, but so what? |
| Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied | |
|---|---|
| "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?" | |
| Also known as: | The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey |
| Advantages: | Easily soothed |
| Disadvantages: | Even more easily perturbed |
| Wild Woman out of Control | |
|---|---|
| "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun." | |
| Also known as: | Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out |
| Advantages: | More fun than a barrel of monkeys |
| Disadvantages: | Unreliable; drives off cliffs |
| Huffy | |
|---|---|
| "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at" | |
| Also known as: | No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, Snarly |
| Advantages: | Your friends will feel sorry for you |
| Disadvantages: | You will have no friends |
| Woman from Mars | |
|---|---|
| "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship" | |
| Also known as: | The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic |
| Advantages: | Entertaining, unfathomable |
| Disadvantages: | Will read her poetry aloud |
| Ms. Dreamgirl | |
|---|---|
| "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now" | |
| Also known as: | Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous |
| Advantages: | Funny, intelligent uninhibited |
| Disadvantages: | Will have nothing to do with you |