You know you're a ho when...

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes


  1. You've slept with Geraldo Rivera.
  2. Arsenio touches your knee.
  3. Even Richard Dawson won't kiss you.
  4. Sheik offers you free shares in the company.
  5. You become a vaseline spokesperson.
  6. Having two tampons in at the same time doesn't bother you.
  7. The EPA comes looking for you.
  8. You go throught a Sealy (tm) a week.
  9. Frederik actaully comes to your door himself...just to see where 1/2 of his orders go.
  10. When people say "Ho, Ho, Ho" and it's July.
  11. When you don't know "What's his name?"
  12. You have to go across the border for a Pap Smear.
  13. You are the headquarters for the CDC.

  14. Your baby looks familiar, who?
  15. When they change your # to 976.
  16. Tetracycline is your best friend.
  17. McDonald's calls you "The Happy Meal".
  18. It takes 2 douches and a spatula at shower time.
  19. Changing your sheets comes more than once a day.
  20. When you've got a "Take a Number" machine at your door.
  21. When they call you "Shazam" and they don't mean the money machine!
  22. When you get hemrhoids on you shoulders.
  23. When getting dresses is not part of your day.
  24. Your day starts and ends by rolling over.
  25. When the sperm bank calls for remnants.
  26. When your screams are heard over a fire alarm.
  27. When you're wearing more latex than spandex.
  28. When your motto is "2 Days, 2 Pounds...$2.90."
  29. When your ceiling mirrors fog.
  30. When they install a revolving door at your apartment.
  31. On the golf course, your afraid to yell "Fore (four)."
  32. When the word Slalom gets you excited.
  33. When the Marine Corps does recruitment outside your door.
  34. When you have a neon sign saying "open at night".
  35. You want to have your name changed to Misty.
  36. Madonna comes to you for pointers.
  37. You start to think of youself as Smurfette.
  38. You haven't seen your floor in a week.
  39. When sunlight scares you.
  40. When your favorite quote is "next please".
  41. You know all the people in "America's Most Wanted".
  42. When Susan Sarandon envies you.
  43. When Guiness Book starts calling.
  44. When every song reminds you of someone...but who?
  45. When everyone refers to you as "dear" and "honey".
  46. When he doesn't even have to buy you a drink.
  47. When you have a room key to every hotel in town.
  48. When Holiday Inn is coming after you for their linen.
  49. Motel 6 signals you in with runway lights.
  50. The only place you haven't had sex is on the moon.
  51. When a men's prison becomes a vacation "hot spot"
  52. The Big Dipper looks inviting.
  53. When soft foods have become distasteful.
  54. White sauce is a staple in your diet.
  55. When the Red Cross turns their head at you.
  56. When it only taked 2 licks to get to the center of a Blow Pop.
  57. When you and your cat have the same tongue consistency.
  58. When other women begin to call you "Man's Best Friend".
  59. You and Prince have already made 3 records.
  60. When the neighbors want you to install a drive up window.

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.