Top 10 REJECTED Surgeon General's Warnings
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking cigarettes while
masturbating could cause personal injury. Recommend taking a
class to adequately prepare for such a task.
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Don't take this fine print too
seriously; the feds make us print it.
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: 100% pure tax.
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: No matter how hard you try, you'll
never look as cool as Bogart.
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: This cigarette mascot has phallic
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking during pregnancy can
cause your baby to look like Herve Villacheze.
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: If you actually wear the free
clothing you get from collecting multiple empty cigarette packs,
you will look like a moron.
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined
that cigarette smoking may cause women to look like cheap, sleazy
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Keith Richards is a fluke.
- SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The Surgeon General has
determined that smoking can cause you to lead a pathetic
existence sitting in a smelly designated smoking area at your
job, freezing your cajones off in the middle of winter.
These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people
email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on
to the subscribers of our various jokes lists.
Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built
up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much
any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes
and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the
blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes.
Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text
files to html.
If you are certain of the authorship of any of these,
email us the author's name
along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the
author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.