Squeal like a pig

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

A Vaseline salesman is driving through the country, when his car
starts leaking and loses all its oil. Not knowing what to do, he
fills the engine with Vaseline, thinking that it is similar to oil,
and drives away. It works fine until about half an hour later, when
the engine gets real warm, and the Vaseline melts, and runs out
through the same hole as the oil did. This time there is a farm
nearby, so he decides to look for a phone.

Meanwhile, inside the farmhouse, the farmer, his wife, and daughter
are having a fight about who's going to do the dishes. "I did them
this morning," complains the farmer. "Well I did them at lunch," says
his wife. "And I'm tired from doing all the farmwork," says the
daughter. So the farmer, in a stroke of brilliance, decides that they
will settle it by all taking off their clothes, lying on the floor,
and declaring that the first one to speak gets to do the dishes.

The Vaseline saleman gets to the front door, and rings the bell. No
one answers so he goes in and looks for a phone. He eventually
stumbles into the kitchen, and ignoring the odd sight, asks for a
phone. No one answers, so he goes and looks some more. Still no luck,
so he goes back to the kitchen. They still won't answer, so he
decides to see what else he can get away with. He has sex with the
daughter several times, bemused by her silence, then finally goes and
looks for the phone again. A while later, he comes back, looks at the
wife, and says, "Why not?" After having sex with the farmer's wife,
he is getting tired and exasperated. He thinks, maybe if they have
some Vaseline, I can drive my car for another half-hour. So he asks,
"Do you have any Vaseline?" at which the farmer jumps up and yells,
"I'll do the dishes!

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.