- I recently came across an interesting statistic:
Men who were successful when they used the pickup line "Hi": 71%
Women who were successful when they used the pickup line "Hi": 100%
- He: I'm a really good cook!
She: What do you cook best?
He: Breakfast in bed! (grins)
- What do you like for breakfast?
- Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
- If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put you between f and ck.
- I saw your picture in the dictionary today...next to the word
- Nice dress/pants, can I talk you out of it?
- What's your sign?
- The best part of me is covered up.
(If wearing swim trunks, a bikini, or a skimpy outfit)
- Overheard in our computer lab:
Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn't mean we are.
- Is your daddy a thief?
Then who stole those diamonds and put them in your eyes?
- Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
- Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
- You know, you're very easy on the eyes.
You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.
- There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off
- At an engineering school luncheon)
He: Your eyes are emitting magnetic fields.
She: Oh, and how do magnetic fields feel?
- Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
- Are those fuck-me eyes, or fuck-you eyes?
- Ya know, that wine really brings out the bloodshot in your eyes.
- Guy goes up to a girl, licks his finger, touches her on the
shoulder, and then touches himself (all this while she is watching
him) and says:
How about you and I get out of these wet clothes?
- Do I know you from somewhere? Or is it just that you have your
- Excuse me, but don't you recognize me with clothes on?
- I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
- Mmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible".
- Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.
- She: I really enjoyed myself tonight.
He: I enjoyed myself too. Maybe sometime we can let our bodies enjoy each other.
- That dress would look awfully nice on my bedroom floor.
That miniskirt would look great crumpled up at the end of my bed.
That's a cute outfit. It would be even cuter wrinkled on my bedroom floor.
I think that shirt would look great on the carpet beside my bed.
- That's a nice watch. It would look great on my nightstand.
- Do you know what would look absolutely terrific on you? Me.
- Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
- Drop 'em.
- Excuse me. Do you wanna fuck or should I apologize?
- If we're not related, I'd like to be.
- Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
- Say, wasn't I blissfully married to you once?
- Say, didn't we meet at Woodstock/college/the V.D. clinic?
- Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?
- Wanna fuck like bunnies?
- Help, I'm lost. Which way is it to your house?
Hi, I'm new in town. Which way is it to your house?
- Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about
the first thing that pops up?
- Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
- I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said:
"Smile if you want to sleep with me."
then watch the victim try to hold back her smile...
Or he had cards that said:
"Here I am, madly in love with you, on the verge of killing myself for your love and I don't even know your NAME________ PHONE_______"
- I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to
see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
- Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far?
- At the office copy machine:
"Reproducing, eh? Can I help?"
- There's an aura about you that's hidden and I want to bring that
- Said to someone who is working at a job (waiter/waitress,
What time do you get off and how?
- She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy?
- Woman: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Man: Do you have the place?
- I hear there is a Toga Party tonight. Hey baby, want to get into my
- What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?
- Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?!?!!
- Say mother! Want another? (if she has children)
- Bond. James Bond.
- Gosh, you're pretty/handsome!!!
- Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her
- Take a chance on me.
- Your place or mine?
- Your place or the mens bathroom?
- Your face or mine?
- This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.
- Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
- Do you want to come back to my place and pet my dog/cat?
- You have the ass of a great artist.
- A friend of mine who walked up to a young lady in a club and simply
asked, "Are you ready to go home now?" She smiled a bit, stood up,
and they left together.
- If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold *it* against
- When asked for a match:
How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
My penis, your vagina.
- Is this love on a two-way street...or is it a dead end?
- I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
- Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
- Interested in a hot and steaming dish of conversation?
- Do you know the difference between conversation and sex?
Wanna go upstairs and talk?
- What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me.
- Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
- Let's go lie down and talk about it.
- Do you know the difference between hamburgers and head jobs?
Let's do lunch then!
- So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than
- I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
- I'd look good on you.
- I would kill or die to make love to you.
- I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.
- Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
- Hi! Can I buy you a car?
- NOW, BITCH!
- Oh, I'm doing fine! And you?
(While looking at someone and waiting for them to say anything)
- Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later
- Hi, I just moved to this city and was wondering if you could
recommend a good restaurant here. Would you also like to join me?
- My drink is getting lonely, so would you like to join me with one?
- Fancy a fuck?
- I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a
- My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.
- Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
- It's always good for you to see me again.
- Hey! I like your shoes! Do you like mine??
- He: Have you ever had one of those fantasies where Greek gods feed
you these little pickles?
He: Well, I'll have to show you what one is like, but it will be only one Greek god (point to yourself, then look down at your crotch) and I won't be feeding you little pickles.
- I hate you...are you here with your friends?
- I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your
name was included.
- Walk up to a girl, put your hands on her shoulders, and say, "I'd
like to get something straight between us." and then look at your
- Wanna Dance?
Yes (pause) but not with you!