Doctor Suess's Guide to the Purity Test

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Have you done it in a car?
Have you done it near or far?
Do you like it with the dead?
Do you like it on your head?
Would you like it with a dog?
Could you play with a toilet log?

Have you done it in a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?
Do you like it in a truck?
Do you really like to f*ck?
Would you like it while on pot?
Could you like it a whole lot?

Have you done it here or there?
Have you done it anywhere?

Do you like it with a cat?
Do you like it with a hat?
Would you ever be a thief?
Could you give it when you can't breath?

Have you done it, now don't lie --
Have you done it with a guy?
Do you want to have some girls?
Do you ever shave your curls?
Would you ever play in sh*t?
Could your screaming be a hit?

Have you done it with three or two?
Have you played in your own poo?
Do you like it in a house?
Do you like it with a mouse?
Would you do some LSD?
Could you really play in pee?

Have you done it with a lad?
Have you run when your not clad?
Do you like it in a sock?
Do you like it on your cock?
Would you ever do a drug?
Could you do it on a rug?

Have you had sex while on a plane?
Have you had sex while in the rain?
Do you eat it with toast or jam?
Do you like it, Sam - I - am?
Would you do with your niece?
Could you ever with a priest?

Have you romped with a brown cow?
Have you done it...you know how?
Do you like it with whipped cream?
Do you lick it as a team?
Would you give you're guy a goose?
Could you do it with a moose?

Have you done it with a fox?
Have you done it eating lox?
Do you have Russian fingers?
Do you give marks that linger?
Would you do it with a gal?
Could you do it with your pal?

Have you done it while you had gas?
Have you gotten it in the ass?
Do you do it in the air?
Do you streak throughout the fair?
Would you have your breasts enlarged?
Could you do it on a barge?

Have you done it all alone?
Have you played with your own bone?
Do you ever just hold hands?
Do you do it with marching bands?
Would you do it and watch TV?
Could you, right now, have VD?

Have you done it with a boy?
Have you done it without joy?
Do you say "I love you"?
Do you want to love a ewe?
Would you do it in a gown?
Could you do it upside-down?

Have you done it with some fruits?
Have you done it playing lutes?
Do you do it with few, or many?
Do you do it at all, with any?
Would you cheat, or lie, or steal?
Could you do it behind the wheel?

Have you liked this test so far?
Have you ever made a scar?
Do you want to quit right now?
Do we need to take a bow?
Would you ever track us down?
Could you show up in our town?

Now we end our famous rhymes.
We may start again, some time.

Copyright and all rights reserved
B & S, June 29, 1994, too late at night.

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

 

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