Three Sheets to the Wind

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A guy comes home three sheets to the wind and all three sheets ripping bad, Budweiser sloshing around in his belly like a keg adrift in a hurricane. He loop-legs through the door and is met by his wife, who is scowling, figuring he's been out jumping new bones.

"Where the hell you been all night?" she demands.
"At this fantastic new saloon," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden."

"Bullshit! There's no such place!"
"Sure there is! Joint's got huge golden doors, a golden floor. Hell, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She

 
 
calls up the place to check her old man's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
"Yes it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do."
"Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!"


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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest

 

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to

 

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