The Bachelor Commandments
- Thou shalt always fool around on your girlfriend (that way when she
dumps you can always get the last laugh).
- Thou shalt not hose thy girlfriends friends unless you're sure you
can get away with it AND you do it in her bed.
- Thou shalt never spend more than $100 without first getting in her pants.
- Thou shalt never marry the first girl you hose after getting out of
- Thou shalt never admit to being in a slump, it is always a "lull."
- Thou shalt always have beer in the fridge.
- Thou shalt always blow off your girlfriend at least once a month to
get drunk with your buddies.
- Thou shalt always forget to call when performing the previous
- Thou shalt never admit to "hogging," it is always "a temporary
alcohol induced standards derating."
- Thou shalt never go on a blind date with someone described as having
"a good personality."
- Thou shalt never turn down steady pussy until it violates number four
or number ten.
- Thou shalt never eat anything high in fiber or low in cholesterol.
- Thou shalt never drink non-alcoholic beer.
- Thou shalt never covet thy neighbor's wife unless she covets back.
- Thou shalt always leave the seat up.
These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people
email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on
to the subscribers of our various jokes lists.
Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built
up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much
any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes
and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the
blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes.
Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text
files to html.
If you are certain of the authorship of any of these,
email us the author's name
along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the
author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.