The dating guide to reading the signs
JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes
The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize - and decode - these KEY "SIGNS."

  1. Woman won't unlock car door for man - Doesn't engage in oral sex
  2. Man gets in car withour opening door for woman - No foreplay
  3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - Prefers virgins
  4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - Is a virgin
  5. Can't hail a cab - Impotent

  6. Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote
  7. Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan
  8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho
  9. Wants to go to a French restaurant - Will swallow
  10. Wants to go to a deli - Won't swallow
  11. Takes too long deciding what to order - Has trouble reaching orgasm
  12. Orders salad dressing on the side - Will give you a hand job, but will not go "all the way"
  13. Gives explicit orders to waiter - Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed
  14. Asks for extra rolls - Will say she is using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue
  15. Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will have..." - Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't
  16. Asks for "The Usual" - Insists on missionary position only
  17. Asks what the specials are - Will want you to use handcuffs
  18. Fills up on bread and crackers - Premature ejaculation
  19. Doesn't finish everything on plate - Has already come
  20. Insists on having some of whatever you orderded - Will make you sleep on the wet spot
  21. Changes mind after ordering - Will never call you
  22. Changes tables - Nyphomaniac
  23. Drinks Decaf. - Fakes Orgasm (Female)
  24. Orders in French - Fakes Orgasm (Male)
  25. Sends food back - Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money
  26. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts - Needs you to talk dirty during sex
  27. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers - Wants a handjob
  28. Orders a dessert involving nuts - Castrating Bitch
  29. Wants to split dessert - Is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all your closets, and take down all your baseball posters
  30. Credit card is refused - Low sperm count
  31. Undertips waiter - Small penis
  32. Undertips parking valet - Small penis
  33. Undertips cabbie - Small penis
  34. Uses toothpick - Is trying to tell you size isn't everything
  35. Removable cassette player in car - Pulls out repeatedly during sex
  36. Cellular phone in car - Penile inplant



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About JokeTribe


These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest

 

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to

 

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