Heaven's full, so what's your story

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to
tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and
I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible

So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife
has been cheating on me, so today I came home early and try to catch
her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell
something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where
this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the
balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing,
25 floors above ground!

By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking
him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I
went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering
on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let
go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes,
stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the
kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it
landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger
got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the
man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about
heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor
of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on
my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something,
because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the
railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't
hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the
balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating
on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into
the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands.
Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes
below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to
be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me
instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty
horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole
process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked
for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.