The Bank President
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A rather elderly lady carrying a soiled lunchbag walked into the main offices of the Chase Mahattan Bank. She went to the nearest teller's window, plunked down the bag and said, "I wish to make a deposit, but beforehand, I'd like to meet with the President of the bank."

The clerk was about to explain that this was quite impossible, when a quick count showed there to be somewhat over 3 million dollars in cash in the sack!

Flabbergasted at the amount, he called upstairs to the President's office and explained the situation to his secretary who relayed it to her boss. The old lady was ushered upstairs into the President's office and introductions were made.

Wondering how this old lady had come by such a tidy sum, the President inquired, "Are you in the stock market?"

"No," she replied.

"Play the horses then...?"

"No... actually I do wager... but I prefer to bet on people."

"I see," said the President.

"Yes," continued the old lady, "As a matter of fact, I will wager you $25,000 dollars that by tomorrow morning at nine o'clock your balls will be square!"

Speculating that he could not possibly lose the bet, the President said, "I'll have to take you up on that one!" He and the old lady hook hands and parted company.

The President was very carefull the rest of the day and did not go out that evening to avoid risk. Next morning as he was showering, he checked himself and all was as it should be. He went to work humming!

At exactly nine o'clock the old lady was again shown into the President's office only this time accompanied by a distinguished looking gentleman in an expensive suit.

The woman explained, "This is Mr. Bartelby my attorney, I always bring him along when dealing in large sums."

The President acknowledged the lawyer and then said, "Well I hate to tell you this, but I am the same as yesterday only $25,000 richer!"

The old lady asked for proof, and in light of the sum involved, the President agreed to drop his trousers to allow the old lady to grasp his scrotum.

At this point the attorney started to bang his head against the President's desk with vigor.

"What's wrong with him?" asked the President.

"Oh him," said the woman, "I bet him $100,000 yesterday that by 9:15 tomorrow I would have the President of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls!"



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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

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