Told to me by a member of the lacrosse team:
At one of the many lacrosse after victory parties, a friend was introduced to
a very pretty young lady. After a few hours of conversation and incredible
amounts of alcohol, he asked if she would like to "go up stairs". She
responded affirmatively, and followed him up to his room.
After a short while, she told him to make love to her. Like anyone
concerned about safe sex, he attempted to put on a condom, while kneeling
in front of the naked young lady.
All of a sudden, he felt the urge to vomit come over him, which he did
right onto her chest. Apparently, he passed out here, as he was unable to
relate any further events of that evening.
Come the next morning, he awoke with a terrific hangover. He also noticed
that there was a strange odor pervading the air. As he got up to look around,
he noticed a HUGE pile of shit on his chest. There was a note on it
which read, "I hope you know how pissed I had to be to actually SHIT on you..."