Top 45 reasons not to have sex
JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes
  1. The pitter patter of little feet
  2. Never let 'em see you sweat
  3. Your parents might realize that you're not 12 years old anymore
  4. Naked men
  5. Guilt, guilt, and GUILT
  6. You might like it
  7. Rhenquist, Scalia, Kennedy, Souter, Thomas
  8. Paying back oral sex debts
  9. Only pagans procreate
  10. Castration
  11. You might fall in lust or, Heaven forbid, love
  12. Body hair
  13. Too many lights on in the room
  14. Your roommate and neighbors can't sleep with all that screaming
  15. Axl Rose
     
     
  16. Since that nasty little Gulf War, there's no money left for research and treatment of those nasty little Sexually Transmitted Diseases
  17. Why bother doing it yourself? Just buy the new Prince album
  18. Pennsylvania Abortion Law
  19. Utah Abortion Law
  20. Alabama Abortion Law
  21. Taking care of the orgasm deficit
  22. Yeast infections
  23. Too sticky
  24. Messes up your hair
  25. Charley Horses
  26. Bladder infections
  27. Cher
  28. "It's only a cold sore"
  29. Photographers with infrared cameras (remember, if it can be seen from a public place, it's not private)
  30. Hetero men who ask "Did you come yet?"
  31. SOMEBODY has to sleep in the wet spot
  32. Taking off the jimmy-hat
  33. In horror flicks, people having sex are always the first to be killed by axe murderers in hockey masks
  34. The ever popular Eternal Damnation
  35. Smegma
  36. You still live with your parents
  37. You love her but you're not in love with her
  38. Creation of sounds not meant to be emitted by the human body
  39. Drooling
  40. Letters to the Editor
  41. Calling out the wrong name
  42. Potential threat to your political aspirations (unless you're a Kennedy)
  43. Your brother gets home from school at 3:00
  44. No one to have sex with
  45. Carpet burn


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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

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