Sex Quiz
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The latest Kinsey Report reveals that Americans are woefully ignorant of the basic facts of life. The majority, for example, know where babies come from, but fewer than 20 % apparently know how they get there. Even worse, 36 % believe that bondage is something you wrap around a cut finger. And no fewer than 44 % reason that being into leather means working as a shoemaker.

The following quiz is designed to measure the smut level of the public:

  1. The most erotic experience a woman over 35 can have is:
    1. having her knees rubbed with sour cream
    2. simultaneously using the food processor, the blender, and the microwave
    3. reading a sex quiz

    4. shopping for shoes

  2. When a businessman buys a red Mercedes, he is hoping to:
    1. acquire a mistress
    2. attract his neighbor's wife
    3. preserve his youth
    4. get a tax write-off

  3. A marriage is in trouble when the husband brings home from the video store:
    1. Kitten with a Whip
    2. Sex Slaves of New Haven
    3. Emmanuelle II meets Rocky IV
    4. Dumbo

  4. Condoms are not recommended for use:
    1. before the 15th of the month
    2. after the 15th of the month
    3. immediately after sex
    4. as birthday party decorations

  5. Religious families generally have large families because:
    1. they generally have more children
    2. they just have natural rhythm
    3. the Bible forbids television
    4. they're just lucky

  6. The Bible condemns homosexuals because:
    1. they go to the theater a lot
    2. they look too much like heterosexuals
    3. they don't keep two sets of clothes
    4. it's impossible to determine who should take out the garbage

  7. After their 30th birthday, fewer than 10 % of women ever achieve:
    1. multiple orchids
    2. a satisfactory weight-loss program
    3. a job that pays as much as a man's
    4. comfortable shoes

  8. It is not uncommon for the average male to worry about the size of his:
    1. bank account
    2. piano
    3. office
    4. necktie

  9. In addition to traditional methods, AIDS can also be transmitted by:
    1. petting goldfish
    2. handling chicken fat
    3. fax
    4. aerogram

  10. Conception has been known to occur in:
    1. the ovarian tubes
    2. eustachian tubes
    3. the Euston tube station
    4. front of the boob tube

  11. "Time of the month" refers to:
    1. ovulation
    2. undulation
    3. a new moon
    4. tax payment

  12. Testosterone is a kind of:
    1. Italian ice cream
    2. testimony given in an Italian court
    3. umpire in an Italian cricket match
    4. Italian chicken fat

  13. An erogenous zone is an area where:
    1. women tend to fall asleep
    2. women tend to develop sudden headaches
    3. men tend to laugh before the punchline
    4. it is forbidden to park your rogenous

  14. At least 50 % of males suffer from premature:
    1. emasculation
    2. matriculation
    3. baldness
    4. laughter before the punchline

  15. Judeo-Christian tradition frowns on:
    1. premarital sex
    2. post-marital sex
    3. the opposite sex
    4. carnal knowledge with non-kosher animals

  16. The average frequency of sexual relations is:
    1. 78.8 megahertz
    2. 92.3 kilohertz
    3. 98.4 oyithertz
    4. depends on your Italian ice-cream level

  17. Which is not considered erotic vocabulary:
    1. doo-doo
    2. thingamajig
    3. wee-wee
    4. woogie-woogie

  18. In your personal experience, sex is:
    1. overrated but undersupplied
    2. oversupplied but not overpriced
    3. over there but not over here
    4. over



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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest

 

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to

 

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