Redneck pride
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A redneck was drinking in a bar one day when a couple of Dixie girls come in and start chatting him up.

1st DG: Mah, y'all is one big hunk. How tall is y'all?

RN: Ah is six feet seven and one hafe inches tall.

2nd DG: Six feet seven and one hafe inches tall? How do you'all measure that?

RN: Ah stands with muh back to thuh wall, and ah takes a pencil and makes a mahk on the wall suayuh with the top of mah head, then ah takes mah tape measure and measures how fah it is frum the mahk to the flo-or.

2nd DG: And how big are you'all around the neck?

RN: Ah is nahnteen and a hafe inches around mah neck.

1st DG: You'all is nahnteen and one hafe inches around the neck? How do you'all measure that?

RN: Well, Ah take mah tape measure, and ah put it around mah neck, then ah breathes in jest as far as ah can, and that measures nahnteen and one hafe inches.

1st DG: You'all shore is one big mayun. Tell me, shugah, how big is yo man-piece?

RN: Mah man-piece is fo' inches.

2nd DG: You'all is six feet seven and a hafe inches tall, and you'all is nahnteen and a hafe inches round the neck, and you'all is tellin' us yo man-piece is fo' inches? How do you'all measure that?

RN: From the flo-or, baby, from the flo-or!"



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