Redneck pride

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A redneck was drinking in a bar one day when a couple of Dixie girls
come in and start chatting him up.

1st DG: Mah, y'all is one big hunk. How tall is y'all?

RN: Ah is six feet seven and one hafe inches tall.

2nd DG: Six feet seven and one hafe inches tall? How do you'all
measure that?

RN: Ah stands with muh back to thuh wall, and ah takes a pencil and
makes a mahk on the wall suayuh with the top of mah head, then ah
takes mah tape measure and measures how fah it is frum the mahk to the

2nd DG: And how big are you'all around the neck?

RN: Ah is nahnteen and a hafe inches around mah neck.

1st DG: You'all is nahnteen and one hafe inches around the neck? How
do you'all measure that?

RN: Well, Ah take mah tape measure, and ah put it around mah neck,
then ah breathes in jest as far as ah can, and that measures nahnteen and
one hafe inches.

1st DG: You'all shore is one big mayun. Tell me, shugah, how big is yo

RN: Mah man-piece is fo' inches.

2nd DG: You'all is six feet seven and a hafe inches tall, and you'all is
nahnteen and a hafe inches round the neck, and you'all is tellin' us yo
man-piece is fo' inches? How do you'all measure that?

RN: From the flo-or, baby, from the flo-or!"

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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