CONDOM(1) manpage
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CONDOM(1)       EUNUCH Programmer's Manual        CONDOM(1)
NAME
     condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child
           processes
SYNOPSIS
     condom [options] [processid]
DESCRIPTION
     _condom_ provides protection against System Transmitted
Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system.  Although the spread of
such viruses across a network can only be abated by aware and cautious
users, _condom_ is the only highly-effective means of preventing
viruses from entering your system (see celibacy(1)).  Any data passed
to _condom_ by the protected process will be blocked, as specified by
the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below).  _condom_ is known to
defend against the following viruses and other malicious


afflictions...
     o AIDS
     o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
     o Syphilis
     o Crabs
     o Genital warts
     o Gonhorrea
     o Chlamydia
     o Michelangelo
     o Jerusalem
     When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1),
foam(1), and/or setiud(3), _condom_ also prevents the conception of a
child process.  If invoked from within a synchronous process, _condom_
has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes
from becoming parent processes (see the -s option below).  When other
process contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child
process from being forked becomes much greater.  See pill(1),
sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3) for more information.
     If no options are given, the current user's login process (as
determined by the environment variable USER) is protected with a
Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip.  The optional
'processid' argument is an integer specifying the process to protect.
     NOTE: _condom_ may only be used with a hard disk.  _condom_
will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy
disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below).
OPTIONS
     The following options may be given to _condom_...
     -b BRAND  BRANDs are as follows...
               trojan (default)
               ramses
               sheik
               goldcoin
               fourex
     -m MATERIAL    The valid MATERIALs are...
               latex (default)
               saranwrap
               membrane -- WARNING!  The membrane option is _not_
               endorsed by the System Administrator General as an
               effective barrier against certain viruses.  It is
               supported only for the sake of tradition.
     -f FLAVOR The following FLAVORs are currently supported...
               plain (default)
               apple
               banana
               cherry
               cinnamon
               licorice
               orange
               peppermint
               raspberry
               spearmint
               strawberry
     -r        Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip)
     -s STRENGTH    STRENGTH is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying
               the resilience of _condom_ against data passed to
               _condom_ by the protected process.  Using a larger
               value of STRENGTH increases _condom_'s protective
               abilities, but also reduces interprocess communication.
               A smaller value of STRENGTH increases interprocess
               communication, but also increases the likelihood of a
               security breach.  An extremely vigorous process or
               one passing an enormous amount of data to _condom_
               will increase the chance of _condom_'s failure.  The
               default STRENGTH is 80%.
     -t TEXTURE     Valid TEXTUREs are...
               rough (default)
               ribbed
               bumps
               lubricated (provides smoother interaction between
                           processes)
     WARNING: The use of an external application to _condom_ in
order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in
benchmark tests to decrease _condom_'s strength factor!  If execution
speed is important to your process, use the '-t lubricated' option.
DIAGNOSTICS
     _condom_ terminates with one of the following exit codes...
     -1   An attempt was made to use _condom_ on a floppy disk.
      0   _condom_ exited successfully (no data was passed to
          the synchronous process).
      1   _condom_ failed and data was allowed through.  The
          danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child
          process is inversely proportional to the number of other
          protections employed and is directly proportional to
          the ages of the processes involved.
BUGS
     _condom_ is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process
from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although
the System Administrator General has deemed that _condom_ is the most
effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted
viruses).  See celibacy(1) for information on a 100% effective program
for preventing these problems.
     Remember... the use of sex(1) and other related routines
should only occur between mature, consenting processes.  If you must
use sex(1), please employ _condom_ to protect your process and your
synchronous process.  If we are all responsible, we can stop the
spread of STVs.
AUTHORS and HISTORY
     The original version of _condom_ was released in Roman times
and was only marginally effective.  With the advent of modern
technology, _condom_ now supports many more options and is much more
effective.
     The current release of _condom_ was written by Ken Maupin at
the University of Washington (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last
updated on 10/7/92.
SEE ALSO
     celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and
setiud(3)


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