Re: *** HOT XXX Adult Products & Videos -- Free Catalog ***

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From: Stephen Kunc
Subject: Re: *** HOT XXX Adult Products & Videos -- Free Catalog ***
Newsgroup: ont.personals.whips.and.rubber.chickens

Stephen Kunc wrote:
bryanf@bronze.interlog.com (Bryan Fullerton) wrote:
>Carmen Deturse wrote:
>
>>Complete catalog of seXXXy products, marital aids,
>>lingerie, outrageous adult gifts, and videos at
>>unbeatable prices.
>
>You have RCs? I assume you must, 'cause you posted to OPWARC.
>

>Anyone have experience buying RCs from this company?

I have vast amounts of experience buying from this company, under the pseudonym Nikolaus Maack.

I bought their Thumper IV model Penis Expander, and my first complaint is that it did not come in the plain brown wrapper that they promised. Instead it arrived in a box lavishly adorned with advertisements for cock rings. Later on, I bought their StretchMan "Charles Atlas" model Penis Expander, but I was deeply disatisfied with its performance, the gyroscope always needs to be replaced, and the mazola emits a foul burning smell when you have the Stretchman on the "puree" setting.

I also bought this company's "Little Suzie" blow-up doll, which promised "full life-like lips" and genuine recordings for audio stimulation. The full life-like lips are in fact, prunes, and the audio recordings are surplussed Teddy Ruxpin stories.

Giving this company the benefit of the doubt, I subsequently bought their "Edible Condom" (which broke), their "Mistress Eva stretch pants" (which rode up) and their "C++ compiler" (which did not link properly with ansi.lib).

I hope this gives you some idea of the company you are dealing with, and if you plan on buying a rubber chicken from them, expect it to be made of the cheapest synthetics, not speak properly, and arrive at your neighbour's house in gift-wrapped covered with advertisements for "Hot Lips" lubricants.

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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