A Visit from a Silicon Impostor
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A few weeks before Christmas,
One Nine Ninety-Four,
The whole world was stirring with outrage galore.
The shockings related to gross lack of care
Whether all had the margin of error to spare.
Small companies nestled all snug in their pride
That their vision of equal respect had applied.
And papa with the trackball (I, saving my wrist)
Had just settled our brains for a game-maybe Myst.
When out on the net, in the press, such a clatter
And chatter arose! Here is what was the matter:
Away to the window I flew to find out
What Tom Nicely's discovery was all about.
Those ads on the TV and ads in the mags
Gave the luster of payday to all of their brags
When what to my wondering eye it appears
 
 
That the floating point error "news" is in arrears.
The error is bad. The arrears part is sick,
So I knew in a moment it wasn't Saint Nick!
More rapid than eagles, supporters they came.
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
On PB, on Gateway, on Tandy and Acer,
On Compaq, on Stupid, on Dell and Fujitsu
To the top of the boards to the top of The Wall
Now stash away, stash away, stash away all!
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle reach to the sky
So up to the analysts his coarsers flew.
It remains to be seen what they further will do.
And then in a moment I heard in the snow
The prancing and pawing of each CEO.
As I drew in my head and was turning around
Down the chimney this chipmaker came with a bound.
He was dressed all in gold from his head to his foot,
Reputation all tarnished with greedy pursuit
He had a broad grin like an open ellipse
And a confident stance poised to shoot from both hips
With a wink of an eye and a shake of his head
He tried vainly to say I had nothing to dread.
With arrogant zeal he went straight to his work
To fill the stock holdings, then rose, (what a jerk)
And laying a finger aside of his nose
As much as to say, "You don't count." Then he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like the cone of a missile
But I'm here to exclaim, if Intel is inside,
Happy Christmas to you,
Just don't try to divide!

Pat McCornack



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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest

 

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to

 

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