Jaffo's Annual Christmas Communist Checklist!

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From: jaffo@onramp.net (Jaffo)
Newsgroups: alt.politics.jaffo,[...]
Subject: Jaffo's Annual Christmas Communist Checklist!
Keywords: hat tree brick rock wink prostate Dole corrugated firm bouncy happy cat woof cobble freak hectare moo

In alt.politics.jaffo, on 16 Dec 1996 13:04:09 -0700, you wrote:

:The second one. Nail those toon bastards to the wall. They're all :Communists you know. Ever notice why Bart and Lisa Simpson both are :always wearing RED? ALWAYS?

Which brings me to my annual Christmas rant.

AHEM.

I have a little quiz. Not a quiz, really, in fact this is Jaffo's Annual Christmas Communist Checklist.

  1. Wears red.
  2. Wears conspicuous cold weather clothing. (Gets mighty cold in SIBERIA!)
  3. Infiltrates the homes of hard-working Americans.
  4. Favors the redistribution of wealth in the form of colorfully-wrapped presents.
  5. Distributes COMMUNIST propaganda, teaching our children that if they just "think good thoughts" and "stay out of trouble" they will receive tangible material benefit. Every year this STEALTH COMMUNIST wages his UNCEASING WAR against our SACRED AMERICAN VALUES of THRIFT and HARD WORK!

Now, WHO could Jaffo be talking about?

  1. Bill Clinton
  2. Janet Reno
  3. The Keebler Elves
  4. Sam Donaldson
  5. Leonard Piekoff
  6. Pat Buchanan
  7. Ted Kennedy (DANGER: Red nose and considerable girth should NOT be considered in your answer.)
  8. Rush Limbaugh (See previous disclaimer.)
  9. Carlos May
  10. SANTA CLAUS!!!

Think carefully before you open your fireplaces to this man!!!

Jaffo

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