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The grinch that stole OOP |
The Grinch hated Coders, and liked them to sweat.
He thought, "I can make them unhappy, I'll bet!"
He read through 12 texts, then looked up with a grin:
"Why, this is as good as original sin!"
He read with a chortle, "An object or class,
Is like a black box hiding all that it has.
Its details invisible: All that you know
Is what should go in and what answers will show."
He slunk to the West Coast and into a lab,
Where chip engineers were at work at their fab.
He heard their boss saying, "Forget testing tricks:
This one is the same as a 486!"
His chance had now come. From their math microcode,
He struck out one line as it went to download.
And the Grinch watched with barely containable glee
As the chips with their bugs shipped across land and sea.
And each of those chips went to some happy buyer,
Where some just played games, but most were for hire,
Sending up spacecraft or buying up stocks,
Or predicting the timing of quake aftershocks.
Then the bug story broke! And the Grinch was alarmed.
This news came too early! Too few had been harmed!
But the Grinch soon calmed down, as the months marched on by,
And the chip-making people continued to lie.
"We fixed it!" they said, and now that was quite funny:
You couldn't get fixed chips for love or for money.
"It's really no problem," they added in chorus.
"The errors are rare. Stop whining, you bore us."
So everywhere, Coders were having to ask,
"Just how does this chip do its float-divide task?"
Internals that they had been told to ignore,
Now had to be studied in blood and in gore.
The leading bit patterns whose answers were wrong,
And whether the errors were carried along,
All had to be thoroughly well understood
So the Coders could know if their answers were good.
And the Grinch went off happy. He knew that they'd learned
That quality output still had to be earned.
Beyond "Merry Christmas," they'd learned something greater:
"If you don't test it now, you'll just debug it later."
-- From Peter Coffee, in PC Week
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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.
If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.
We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.
And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.
And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.
But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to
Some FUNNY T-Shirts