TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritualistic
drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called
for in their union contract, even though they won't be asked to
play a note...),

TEN melanin-deprived, testosterone-poisoned scions of the
patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally-protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen, nonhuman animal
products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned, enforced domestic
incarceration,

(Note: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens,
and partridge have been reintroduced to their natural habitat. To
avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift
package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree
carcasses,

and a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.