JokeTribe - THE Best Humor Archive of Dirty Jokes and Clean Jokes

THE TWELVE DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS

The first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite!
And with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my-yy true LOVE, my true love gave to me...

The second day after Christmas I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves!
The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup.
I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup!

The four calling birds were a big mistake,
for their language was obscene!
The five golden rings were completely fake,
and they turned my fingers green!

The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay!

I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A-S-P-C-A!
The seventh day, what a mess I found!
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned!
My true love, my-yy true LOVE, my true love gave to me...

THEEEEE eighth day after Christmas, before anyone could suspect
I bundled off the
Eight maids a'milking
Nine pipers piping
Ten Ladies dancing
Eleven Lords a'leaping
Twelve drummers drumming
And sent them back COLLECT!!!

I wrote my true love, "We are through, LOVE!" And I said in so many words:
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts are for the
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree-eeee-eeeeee-eeeeeeee!"

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to