JokeTribe - THE Best Humor Archive of Dirty Jokes and Clean Jokes

'Twas The Night Before Crisis

'Twas the night before Crisis,
and all through the house,
Not a program was working,
not even a browse.

The programmers were wrung out,
too mindless to care,
Knowing chances of cutover
hadn't a prayer.

The users were nestled
all snug in their beds,
While visions of inquiries
danced in their heads.

When out in the lobby

there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my tube
to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
But a super programmer,
(with a six-pack of beer).

His resume glowed
with experience so rare,
he turned out great code
with a bit-pusher's flair.

More rapid than eagles,
his programs they came,
And he whistled and shouted
and called them by name.

On Update! on Add!
on Inquiry! on Delete!
On Batch Jobs, on Closing!
on Functions Complete!

His eyes were glazed over,
his fingers were lean,
From weekends and nights
in front of a screen.

A wink of his eye,
and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know
I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word,
but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code,
then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger
on the 'ENTER' key,
The system came up
and worked perfectly.

The Updates, updated,
the Deletes, they deleted,
The Inquiries, inquired
and the Closing completed.

He tested each whistle,
and tested each bell,
With nary an abend,
and all had gone well!

The system was finished,
the tests were concluded.
The client's last changes
were even included.

And the client exclaimed
with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for,
but it's not what I want!"

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

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We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to