Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't
it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
Check the rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of
the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink
it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup
butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat
again. Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality--
try another cup. Open second quart, if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs,
2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters,
just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, checking for
tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't
matter which). Sample the rum again. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice.
Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add one babblespoon of
brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mell. Grease oven
and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour whole mess into the coven
and ake. Check the rum again, and bo to bed.