25 Christmas ideas to torture your roomate

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes


  1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to
    bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and trash on the floor.


  2. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get
    off.


  3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.


  4. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting,
    "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."


  5. Hang mistle-toe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the
    room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.


  6. Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Collect coal and sharp
    objects in it. If s/he asks, say "you've been very naughty this year."


  7. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you
    never get to join in on the reindeer games.


  8. Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (I.E. "You know, I saw mommy
    kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistle-toe last night.")


  9. Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.


  10. Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."


  11. Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.


  12. Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it
    doesn't come to life, cry hysterically "it didn't work!"


  13. Whip your roommate screaming "now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and
    Blitzen, etc."


  14. Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling "Bah Humbug!"


  15. Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have
    mercy on my soul!"


  16. Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th
    Street.


  17. Pin a poinsettia to your lapel.


  18. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.


  19. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's friends "give
    it a yank."


  20. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a bell rings an angel gets
    his wings."


  21. Stand in front of the mirror reciting "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"
    over and over in your underwear.


  22. Smoke mistle-toe. Do what comes naturally.


  23. Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "he
    sees you when you're sleeping..."


  24. Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your
    roommate asks, tell him/her "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at
    the inn."


  25. When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions.
    Tell him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.


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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.