- Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
- You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
- You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
- At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
- There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
- You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
- You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word
"chicken".
- You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
- You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
- A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
- You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
- Your master ever said, "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
- You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
- You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
- The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
- Wookies are offended by your B.O.
- You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to
wait for a commercial.
- You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
- You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of
beer.
- Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side, it'll
be a hoot."
- You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get
the barbecue grill to light.
- The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find
it.
- You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home.
- You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.
- More than half the droids you own don't function.
- The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
- You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married.
- You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on vacation on
Hoth.
- Your moonshine is made on a real moon.
- You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in
your back pocket.
- Sandpeople back down from your mama.
- You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or
DUI.
- You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your
accent.
- You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.
- You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.
- A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave.
- You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your
lightsaber.
- You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
- You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
- You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.
- The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
- You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
- You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father. And your uncle. And your brother...