You Might be a Redneck Jedi if... |
- Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
- You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
- You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
- At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
- There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
- You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
- You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word
"chicken".
- You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
- You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
- A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
- You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
- Your master ever said, "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
- You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
- You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
- The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
- Wookies are offended by your B.O.
- You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to
wait for a commercial.
- You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
- You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of
beer.
- Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side, it'll
be a hoot."
- You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get
the barbecue grill to light.
- The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find
it.
- You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home.
- You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.
- More than half the droids you own don't function.
- The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
- You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married.
- You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on vacation on
Hoth.
- Your moonshine is made on a real moon.
- You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in
your back pocket.
- Sandpeople back down from your mama.
- You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or
DUI.
- You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your
accent.
- You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.
- You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.
- A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave.
- You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your
lightsaber.
- You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
- You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
- You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.
- The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
- You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
- You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father. And your uncle. And
your brother...
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About JokeTribe
These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people
email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on
to the subscribers of our various jokes lists.
Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built
up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much
any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes
and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the
blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes.
Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text
files to html.
If you are certain of the authorship of any of these,
email us the author's name
along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the
author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.
