Subject: Re: STAR WARS questions - please answer
From: Susan C. Mitchell
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc, alt.cult-movies,
rec.arts.movies.current-films, rec.arts.movies.past-films

Greywizard wrote:
: The Star Wars movies are fun romps, and I know you are not
: supposed to take them so seriously that you ask questions like:
: "Why can you hear the explosions in space?"

: Rewatching the movies with this in mind, I still couldn't help
: realizing a few unexplained things. I realize that some of the
: following questions may not have answers, but maybe some of you
: out there can answer a few......

: -----------------------------------------------------------------

: STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE

: - Why do the Stormtroopers wear that clumsy body armor, if it
: doesn't stop laser blasts?

Because they've indoctrinated the entire population to be scared shitless of people in white armor.

: - How does the Death Star travel move from system to system?

A *real* big rubber band.

: - Why does Death Star have that trench around it?

That's where the rubber band fits.

: - If Darth Vader was strong with the force, how come he didn't
: notice Han Solo coming to shoot him near the end?

He was busy trying to figure out how come the kid in the X-wing seemed so familiar.

: - Why can Death Star's prison doors be opened without a key of
: any kind?

Everyone aboard the Death Star is on the same side.

: - Why was Luke carrying around a string with a hook on the end
: in the first place?

It came with his stormtrooper armor; their equipment belts are sort of like Swiss Army knives.

: - Why doesn't Chewie get a medal at the end?

Official explanation, from the old Official Star Wars Fan Club: medals are against his religion.

: - How does Han consider Chewie? Sometimes he treats him like a
: human, and other times like a pet (patting him on the head)

It would seem Lucas couldn't make up his mind. Several early drafts of the script include descriptions like "Chewbacca and his master."

I once read a fan-fiction story that included a conversation between Han Solo and Harrison Ford. At one point, Ford asked about Han's relationship with Chewie; the response was, "Nothing like *that*, we're just good friends."

: - If Obi-Wan a long time ago hid Luke away from Darth Vader, why
: didn't he change Luke's name?

I have not the remotest idea.

: -----------------------------------------------------------------
: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

: - In such a cold atmosphere, how did the snow beast freeze Luke's
: feel onto the ceiling?

Spit.

: - Why would the Empire use such slow vehicles (those Walkers) in
: their army?

For the same reason Terran forces use slow vehicles like tanks in their armies; they're mean, they're armored, and they scare people.

: - Why didn't the rebel fighters just attack those Walkers at
: their sides, so they couldn't be shot at?

Armor.

: - In the base itself, why can't you see the character's breath
: when they are in the cold passages?

Um ...

: - How did Luke know where Yoda would be on the planet?

"Use the Force, Luke!"

: - Why would Darth first try to kill Luke, _then_ give him the
: job offer and revelation?

He wanted to prove to Luke that *he*, Vader, was the more powerful, thus tempting him with the "power" of the Dark Side.

: -----------------------------------------------------------------
: RETURN OF THE JEDI

: - Why the Ewoks?!?!?!?!?

Marketing. (An early draft of the first movie included a battle on the Wookiee's home planet; Lucas just inverted the name, and changed "huge fierce furry creatures" to "short cute furry creatures.")

: - If Leia said she "somehow knew all the time" that Luke was her
: brother, why did she give him those unsibling kisses?

There was really only one "unsibling" kiss, and it was to piss Han off. The "for luck" kiss aboard the Death Star was so quick she almost missed his face.

: - How were the Ewoks able to set all those traps overnight?

MacGyver was on the planet.

: - When the shield station blows up, how do the heroes nearby
: survive the explosion? And why isn't there a big forest fire?

Movie physics.

: - Why is human Leia considered a friend, but the other humans are
: considered enemies at first by the Ewoks?

They weren't considered enemies, they were considered *lunch*. Leia was safe because one of Ewoks brought her back and said, "Can I keep her? She followed me all the way home!"

: - When Luke left Yoda in the last movie, he was told that he
: was not a Jedi yet. When he returns in this movie, he is told
: that he is a Jedi, and all he has to do is face Vader. Huh?
: Luke aready faced Vader, and hasn't done any training in
: between.

Maturity?

: - There is quite a bit of the Empire's fleet left after Death
: Star 2 blows up. So even though Vader and the Emperor are dead,
: there should be a lot of the high command left. So isn't it a
: bit premature to celebrate?

Probably, but they were in serious need of a party.