A summary of the latest office lingo

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes






























































































































































































































































Alpha Geek the most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in
an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Batmobiling putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting
armor that covers the Batmobile as in "she started talking marriage and he started
batmobiling"
Beepilepsy aflicts those with vibrating pagers characterized by
sudden spasms, goofy facial expressions and loss of speech
Betamaxed when a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior
but better marketed competition as in "Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the
market"
Blamestorming sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Blowing your buffer losing your train of thought
Body Nazis hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look
down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
CGI Joe a hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social
skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Chainsaw consultant an outside expert brought in to reduce the employee
headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Chip Jewelry a euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or
turned into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's
nothing but chip jewelry."
Cobweb Site a World Wide Web site that hasn't been updated for a
long time. A dead Web page.
Cube farm an office filled with cubicles.
Dilberted to be exploited and oppressed by your boss. "I've been
dilberted again. My boss just revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
Ego surfing scanning the Net, databases, print media, and so on,
looking for references to one's own name.
Elvis year the peak year of something's popularity -- Barney the
dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993.
404 someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message
"404, URL Not Found:" meaning that the document you've tried to access can't be
located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404."
Generica fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in "we
were so lost in generica that I couldn't remember what city it was"
Glazing corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A
popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that
half the room was glazing by the second session?"
Going postal totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees
who went on shooting rampages
High dome egghead, scientist, PhD
Idea hamsters people who always seem to have their idea generators
running.
Irritainment annoying but you can't stop watching e.g. the O.J.
trial
Link Rot the process by which links on a Web page became obsolete
as the sites they're connected to change location or die.
Meatspace the physical world (as opposed to the virtual) also
"carbon community" "facetime" "F2F" "RL"
Mouse potato the on-line generation's answer to the couch
potato.
Ohnosecond that minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
you've just made a big mistake.
Percussive maintenance the fine art of whacking a device to get it working
Plug-and-Play a new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy,
John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
Prairie dogging something loud happens in a cube farm, and people's
heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Ribs 'n' dick a budget with no fat as in "we've got ribs 'n' dick and
we're supposed to find 20K for memory upgrades"
Salmon day swimming upstream all day to get screwed in the end
Siliwood the coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and
computers - also "hollywired"
SITCOM stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage.
Square headed girlfriend/boyfriend computer
Stress puppy a person who thrives on being stressed-out and
whiny.
Tourists those who take training classes just to take a vacation
from their jobs -- "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were
tourists."
Treeware manuals and documentation
Umfriend sexual relationship as in "this is Dale,
my...um...friend"
Uninstalled euphemism for being fired.
World Wide Wait the real meaning of WWW.
Xerox subsidy euphemism for swiping free photocopies from a
workplace.
Yuppie food coupons twenty dollar bills from an ATM

If you like what we have for you here on JokeTribe, please do consider donating to us. Any amount, even a small one, would truly be helpful.

 

About JokeTribe


These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.