Virtual Reality Check

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The Weekley Scoop

Fogheads - Are you feeling wired - faxed over, hard driven and megabitten, a little cyber-itic. Maybe you've been working on a computer screen all day, and watching the television screen too much at night. Maybe you are spending too much time in virtual reality, and not enough time in the other available realities. Well, I know how it feels - on this edition of the Weekly Scoop.

We are all wired, fogheads, caught in a broadly-cast net of cables, lines, signals and satellites. Stuck in the web site of mediated realities. The air waves and communication lines are crackling with billions of messages and images - as the Big Brother World mind beams its programming into the collective psyche. And it often seems to me that the true revolutionaries are those who are severing themselves

from the Imperial circuits.

Personally, fogheads, I try to stay as loosely wired as possible. But I must admit that I love my word-processing computer, and can't imagine working without one. And recently my laptop has been on the blink - so I've been shopping around for a new one. My computer-whiz friends tell me I should get one that creates windows and endless graphic files, so that maybe I could start charting my bowel movements or something - The cyber-mavens also say I should get a super-powerful computer that can hook me into millions of chat sites and babble bytes - where I can type messages back and forth to all these virtual people out there in cyber-land. And they say I need a computer that will give me access to all the information ever accumulated in the known universe. But I can't begin to absorb all the information that I now receive. So maybe, fogheads, these machines are made for a new generation of people who have more powerful hard drives in their brain than I do.

Because I already feel like I'm wired to the grid - to the gills. When I step into my home office, I count 17 electrical connections - at night it looks like an airplane landing strip in there with all the battery chargers and surge protectors and digital indicators glowing, and blinking. And although I try to resist any new electronics, lately I'm being pressured to buy a new fax machine. Because people are starting to sound irritated when I tell them I don't own one, like how else are we going to take care of business. But if I do give in and get a fax machine, I swear to nature, it will be my final electronic gadget this lifetime.

Of course, for anyone who wants to deprogram their mediated reality, the most important thing to do is unplug the television set, if you already haven't. But of course, I watch too much television myself - sinking into the manic hyper-space of stupid dramas about cops or lawyers or doctors - full of murder and mayhem, with the characters suing each other and screwing each other's wives - The only good thing about TV drama shows is that they don't have laugh tracks. And I also watch too much TV news, which is even more hazardous to your health. Every night another world crisis described in ominous tones by Rather, Brokaw and Jennings - anchors guaranteed to bring you down. And then I often watch the local news, right before I go to bed - full of murders and car crashes and nasty trials, and in between the news stories are advertisements for medical products to cure our headaches and insomnia and upset stomachs, all the ailments which are caused by watching TV in the first place.

Anyway, fogheads, I'm going to do a media fast for a week. All I will listen to will be tapes of Meyer Baba saying "don't worry be happy." Only that, and rock and roll music on KFOG - the rock leader - and this is Scoop Nisker, paraphrasing Timothy Leary to say, fogheads, Turn it off, tune it out, and drop on over some time - and if you don't like the news - go out and make some of your own.

Scoop Nisker

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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