10. Hard as hell to get cable guy to come out to the shack.
9. Those Freeman idiots are always stopping by to borrow a cup of plastique.
8. Sticky typewriter no match for word processor when hefty manifestos are due.
7. Should have sent my brother an exploding birthday card last year.
6. Greyhound drivers never let you store bombs under your seat during the ride to Sacramento.
5. I can make a pipe bomb in 5 minutes, but I can't get my VCR to
stop flashing 12:00.
4. Mom's always rifling through my anti-technology polemics.
3. Damn! I won't be able to pay Uncle Sam on time this year...
2. Townies mock my mode of transportation, now call me the Unacyclist.
1. Stupid FBI sketch makes me look like Weird Al Yankovic.