Dilemma

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Subject: Dilemma
From: vx@teleport.com (V-X)
Newsgroups: alt.society.generation-x


*If you were going to man one of those "Coffee and Cookies for a
Donation" tables at a highway rest stop from 2:30 to 6:30 am, in a
slight downpour, and your companions could either be Grand Funk
Railroad or Soundgarden, which would you choose?


*Which name makes you cringe worse: Newt Gingrich, Jack Kavorkian, or
Mochaccino?


*Is William S. Burroughs dead yet? I don't think so, I think he just
did a Land O' Lakes commercial. You know, the one they had to
suppress.


(I guess this really isn't a dilemma. Sorry.)


*Which makes you more afraid: ebola, racist/religious groups with
surplus weapons or that one day the boss will come over for dinner and
find the copy of Photoshop you stole from work?


*If nature produced a teal food, would you trust her anymore?


*When Skinny Puppy shares the bill with Three Dog Night at state fairs
and tractor pulls, will you buy bink blocks of candy popcorn or a
caramel apple?


*Which chokes you up more: "The Star Spangled Banner," or "Elbow
Room?"


*Let's say there's a nuclear war. Everybody's only allowed to sub to
one newsgroup. If it came down to a choice between
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.butts and
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.female.anal, my God, how would you pick?


*If Jim Carrey suddenly dropped out of the sky in front of your car,
would you stop?


*If you knew the eighties revival was just around the corner, but
selling your Berlin albums would bring the cash necessary for your
mother's life-saving operation, would you?


*This question has three parts:


Let's say you're a rookie cop. You've cornered two armed suspects in
an alley, and they're firing at you. You want to kill them. You get to
kill them. This is not the dilemma.


+The question is, if one of them is Kenny G, and the other is Kathy
Lee Gifford, which one are you going to drop first?
+And which one will give you the greater pleasure?
+And which one will you plant the vial of crack on?


*If the US started a war with Mexico and Canada started a war with the
US, and Mexico started a war with Canada, and you got your draft
notice, where would you flee to?


*Which irritates you more: MTV or Saturday Night Live satires of MTV?


*If Alanis Morissette and Sean Penn starred in a remake of Who's
Afraid of Virginia Woolf, and Alanis asked you to go to the premiere
with her, would you ask her to...oh, never mind, that's too easy...


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