What happens to deleted characters?

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QUESTION:

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or
delete them on my PC?


ANSWER:

The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask:



  • The Catholic Church's approach to characters: The nice characters go to
    Heaven, where they are bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty
    characters are punished for their sins. Naughty characters are those
    involved in the creation of naughty words, such as "breast," "sex" and
    "contraception."


  • The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its
    karma is good, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as
    a different, higher character. Those funny characters above the numbers

    on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, and
    lower-case letters will become upper-case.


  • The 20th-century bitter cynical nihilist explanation: Who cares?
    It doesn't really matter if they're on the page, deleted, undeleted,
    underlined, etc. It's all the same.


  • The Mac user's explanation: All the characters written on a PC and then
    deleted go to straight to PC hell. If you're using a PC, you can probably
    see the deleted characters, because you're in PC hell also.


  • Stephen King's explanation: Every time you hit the (Del) key you unleash a
    tiny monster inside the cursor, who tears the poor unsuspecting characters
    to shreds, drinks their blood, then eats them, bones and all. Hah, hah, hah!


  • Dave Barry's explanation: The deleted characters are shipped to Battle
    Creek, Michigan, where they're made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains
    why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not flammable.
    I'm not making this up.


  • IBM's explanation: The characters are not real. They exist only on the
    screen when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to
    de-conceptualize them. Get a life.


  • PETA's (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) explanation: You've
    been DELETING them??? Can't you hear them SCREAMING??? Why don't you go
    CLUB some BABY SEALS while wearing a MINK, you pig!!!!


- Joel Garreau (garreau@well.com), as reported in his Cybersurfing
column in the Washington Post.


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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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