Twisted Science Fair

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

These are responses to a contest sponsored by OMNI Magazine:


GRAND PRIZE WINNER:


When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and
when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered
side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the
back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above
the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed
monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.


RUNNERS-UP:




  1. If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number
    of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds

    at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually
    produce all the worlds great literary works in Braille.



  2. Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the
    pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside
    your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so
    they must yawn to even it out.



  3. Communist China is technologically underdeveloped
    because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use
    acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.



  4. The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.
    Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the
    arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall
    trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.


HONORABLE MENTIONS:



  1. Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the
    world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to
    spin on its axis.



  2. The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is
    that it's easier to go faster when you're always going downhill.



  3. The quantity of consonants in the English language is
    constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another.
    When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate
    southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in
    "erl wells."


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About JokeTribe


These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.