Redneck Self-identification test
- You think Windows95 is a fair bb gun record.
- You overhear someone say, "Boy am I swamped at work," and you think that means the person does frog gigging for a living.
- You think Liz Taylor married Larry for his money.
- You join in when they play the dogs barking to 'Jingle Bells' on the truck radio.
- You've worn out 6 mouth organs.
- You think velcro is a new kind of musical instrument.
- Bigfoot uses your home for UPS deliveries.
- When you heard there was a snack called "Goobers," you thought you could earn money by sending yours to the manufacturer.
- You think Proszac is a sports guy.
- You think Mensa is a monthly feminine thing.
- You think "passive restraint system" refers to riding your pick-up on the center line so nobody can get around you.
- You think Seinfeld is a description of the result of jumping a curb.
- You think re-booting your machine refers to kicking the truck tires the second time it won't start.
- You think that if given the chance YOU'D be able to pick off that damned Energizer Bunny.
- The house feels a bit lonely when winter comes and the last fly dies.
- If extra seating in your house means sending Billie Bob for a log from the wood pile.
- After the crick floods your house, your wife asks for new carpeting and you say, "Why, it just got cleaned?"
- You consider chewing beef jerky to be as good as brushing your teeth.
- If you are the first in your family to walk upright.
- If you believe that Chevrolet only made a 1972 pickup.
- If you spent more money for your gun cabinet than you did for your house.
- If you sold your kids for some stock in Redman Tobacco Company.
- If you go to mud bogs on a regular basis.
- You might be a redneck if you let the sheep sleep inside of your house
- You have ever took your date to the drive-in movie and snuck her in the trunk of your car.
- If your idea of going 'on line' involves static and the words '10-4 good buddy'.
- You've been married twice and still have the same inlaws.
- Your wife has ever said to you "Move this transmission, so I can take a bath.".
- If you think euthanasia is a little chinese kid.
- If your favorite sport is wrestling.
- If your couch has a seatbelt on it..
- If your swimming pool has a tailgate on it..
- If you can't remember the name of your uncle-dad after getting drunk at the family reunion.
These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people
email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on
to the subscribers of our various jokes lists.
Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built
up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much
any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes
and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the
blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes.
Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text
files to html.
If you are certain of the authorship of any of these,
email us the author's name
along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the
author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.