Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Corporate America
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
- There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
- Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
- The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
- The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
- Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
- Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
- Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
- Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
- Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
- I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
- Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
- If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
- All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
- One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
- By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
- The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
- This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
- Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
- The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
- Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.
- No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.
- Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.
- Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
- Never pass a snow plow on the right.
These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people
email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on
to the subscribers of our various jokes lists.
Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built
up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much
any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes
and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the
blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes.
Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text
files to html.
If you are certain of the authorship of any of these,
email us the author's name
along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the
author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.