Engineer Traits

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"

If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to

If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas

If Dilbert is your hero

If you stare at an orange juice container because it says

If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes

If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50

If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting
the decimal point in the right place

If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids'

If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby

If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other
than hanging coats and taping ducts

If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the
one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string

If you window shop at Radio Shack

If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the
latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work

If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a
test that actually takes five minutes to run

If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage
door opener and your camera's flash attachment

If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer

If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

If you own "Official Star Trek" anything

If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's

If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception

If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid

If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair

If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor

If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

If you have never backed-up your hard drive

If you are aware that computers are actually only good for
playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud

If you truly believe aliens are living among us

If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance

If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"

If you see a good design and still have to change it

If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your

If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it

If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never
enters your mind

If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't
remember where they are

If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your
automobile tires

If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster
you own turns bread into charcoal

If you have more toys than your kids

If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

If your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre

If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how
they work

If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you
rush up to the front to fix it

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your

If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery
channel and have seen most of the shows already

If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know
what RPN stands for

If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color
TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you
grew up thinking that was normal

If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what
size screw driver to use

If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own

If people groan at the party when you pick out the music

If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time
this week

If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time

If you did the sound system for your senior prom

If your checkbook always balances

If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on

If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission

If you think your computer looks better without the cover

If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they
didn't get enough sleep

If your husband hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work

If you spend more on your home computer than your car

If you know what http:/ stands for

If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio

If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in
your garage

If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their
latest satellite weather picture with yours

If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try
to explain atmospheric absorption theory

If your lap-top computer costs more than your car

If your 4 basic food groups are: 1.Caffeine 2.Fat 3.Sugar

If you like what we have for you here on JokeTribe, please do consider donating to us. Any amount, even a small one, would truly be helpful.


About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.