Engineer Traits

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes


If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"


If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to
dinner


If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie


If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas


If Dilbert is your hero


If you stare at an orange juice container because it says
CONCENTRATE


If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes


If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail


If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50


If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting
the decimal point in the right place


If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids'
toys


If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby
car


If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other
than hanging coats and taping ducts


If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the
one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string


If you window shop at Radio Shack


If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the
latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies


If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work
area


If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a
test that actually takes five minutes to run


If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage
door opener and your camera's flash attachment


If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer
is


If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven


If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush


If you own "Official Star Trek" anything


If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's
inside


If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception


If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid


If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair
project


If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor


If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts


If you have never backed-up your hard drive


If you are aware that computers are actually only good for
playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud


If you truly believe aliens are living among us


If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance


If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"


If you see a good design and still have to change it


If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your
questions


If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it


If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never
enters your mind


If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't
remember where they are


If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your
automobile tires


If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster
you own turns bread into charcoal


If you have more toys than your kids


If you need a checklist to turn on the TV


If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name


If your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre


If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how
they work


If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight


If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you
rush up to the front to fix it


If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your
anniversary


If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery
channel and have seen most of the shows already


If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know
what RPN stands for


If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color
TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you
grew up thinking that was normal


If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what
size screw driver to use


If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own
handwriting


If people groan at the party when you pick out the music


If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time
this week


If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time


If you did the sound system for your senior prom


If your checkbook always balances


If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on
her


If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone


If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life


If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers


If you think your computer looks better without the cover


If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they
didn't get enough sleep


If your husband hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work


If you spend more on your home computer than your car


If you know what http:/ stands for


If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio


If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in
your garage


If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their
latest satellite weather picture with yours


If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try
to explain atmospheric absorption theory


If your lap-top computer costs more than your car


If your 4 basic food groups are: 1.Caffeine 2.Fat 3.Sugar
4.Chocolate


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About JokeTribe


These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.