(A follow up to the Mad Pig Disease one...)
|WHAT IS SAID||WHAT IS MEANT|
While on routine patrol...
|I was in the car because the|
coffee shop was closed.
|The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner...||He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN--DON'T FEED THE PIGS"|
The accident scene and the safety of the
victims prevented this officer from
doing traffic control.
|It was raining.|
This officer went out-of-service to
obtain intelligence information from a
|It was too hot to ride in the car.|
I observed the suspect acting in a
|The dirt-bag let go with an 'Oink' as I walked by.|
Knowing the suspect had a criminal
|He puked on my uniform one night...|
The informant is of known credibility
and has provided reliable information in
|I've got two theft cases hanging over his head...|
While being arrested, this subject
resisted being injured in the act...
|He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirror sunglasses...|
The motorist was cited for multiple
|I wrote him one citation for each swear-word he used...|
Upon announcing my title and purpose I
heard a voice from inside the house say
'Come in' so this writer entered through
|The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have heard Patton's army so I kicked in the door.|
The members of the press at the scene
were offered every courtesy within
|I sent them to a non-existent address which I called the 'Command Post'|
I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding...
|She was a good-looking blonde who owned a liquor store and who was free after my shift was over.|
The Chief appeared at the scene and took command.
|I sent him to the same address as the reporters.|
Further interview of the witnesses was
impossible, due to conditions.
|Tonight is my bowling night...|
The motorist's eyes were glassy, he had
slurred speech, was unsteady on his
feet, and smelled strongly of alcohol.
|He was howling at the moon and trying to drive the car from the back seat.|
Using only enough force to restrain the
|My favorite song is 'Drop kick me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life'.|
The defendant asked this officer's
advice on how to act before the judge at
|I told him he didn't have the balls to call the judge the same name he called me.|