Recent Outbreak of SMUT

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Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.d,alt.culture.gard-trask
From: tjames@netcom.com (Tjames Madison)
Subject: Recent Outbreak of SMUT

Do you realize that - right now on Netcom - there are SEVEN THOUSAND messages in the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica newsgroup?

SEVEN THOUSAND. And these will all expire in two weeks and be replaced by 7,000 more. Or, more likely, 7,500, owing to longterm growth trends.

Figuring that the average file is split into three parts, one can safely assume that more than ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND pornographic files will pass through a.b.p.e just this year alone. And a.b.p.e, while the most popular of SexGroups currently on Usenet, is far from the only one. At last check (10 minutes ago), there were more than 50. Assume an average file size of

50K (very conservative) and, well, let's just say that the recent deflation of hard drive prices is a Good Thing.

Right now, an army of college students is making an extra few bucks all over the world, moonlighting as porn stars just to satisfy this insane demand. Soon everyone will know someone who is a porn star. Non-porn stars will be ostracized, and forced to film the action without pay. But no one will mind, or even complain, except Andrea Dworkin.

March, 1999: Usenet changes its name to PornNet. All groups are devoted to pornography. Serious discussions on culture, philosophy, politics and sports are discouraged and shunted off to the new competing SkyNet, which has no porn at all, and is frequented mostly by college professors and Mensa members (most of them also have PornNet accounts, though.)

April, 1999: Roseanne shows pink on prime time television. Andrea Dworkin cameos as her anthropomorphic clitoris.

January, 2001: Larry Flynt sworn in as president, with running mate Lisa Palac. Main U.S. export is hardcore smut. All laws dealing with pornography restrictions are abolished in all states, except in North Carolina, where it is still illegal to say "hell".

November, 2002: Andrew Damick elected Governor of North Carolina. His first official action is to abolish jokes about "wee-wees" from local television comedy shows.

June, 2003: Alexander Abian completes a critically acclaimed trilogy of porn features: "HELIUM? I HARDLY KNOW HIM!" "VENUS IS HOT HOT HOT!" and "E = MC SCREW".

December, 2004: America has a cigarette and falls asleep.

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About JokeTribe


These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.