If Microsoft made movies

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Borrowed this from the web - authors email address is at the bottom.


If Microsoft made movies:


You wouldn't be able to eat popcorn, drink a coke and watch the movie
at the same time.


If the popper was popping corn, and they were selling a candy bar,
the movie would pause.


They would announce that the next versions of the movie would enable
colour blind people to watch in colour, and the deaf to hear it.


The film would break every 15 minutes and in the most important parts.


They would announce new breakthroughs in movie technology - colour and
sound - forgetting that most other movies have had these for years.


Every new movie would require a new projector.


The projector would claim to take 32mm in film size, but in reality it
would only show 16mm magnified to make it look like 32mm.


They would claim to have invented comedies.


Every movie would look pretty, but actually have mishmash holding it
together, and contain no plot. Ooops! Sorry, that's from the "What if
Hollywood Made Movies" list.


They would promise you an action/adventure flick starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger and Sandra Bullock, but it would be 3 years late
and end up being a sappy love story with Jim Carey and
Madonna.


Their projectors must have reset buttons, requiring you to start the
movie over and over to have any hope of seeing the entire film.


"640 seconds? Whose gonna watch a movie longer than that??"


Vipin
Vipin@meena.cc.uregina.ca


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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.