Next time one of those pushy telemarketing people calls, try one of these
responses:
- I'm sorry, sir, but I'm completely filled with fruit and cheese.
- OK, I'll take it on the condition that, right now, you bark like a
dog for three minutes straight.
- I can't make that kind of decision now; I'm on my deathbed. (cough, cough)
- When you send that registration form to me, do I fill it out in pen,
or is human blood OK?
- I'm too fucking drunk to decide. (vomit noises)
- Grandpa? Grandpa, is that you?...But...but...you've been dead for 15
years!
- (Japanese accent) Sorry, I'm not very interesting.
- Really, ma'am, this is not a good time. I'm cold and naked with a
plastic bag over my head.
- Now will this protection you're offering cover all the children I keep
locked up in the basement?
- No, sir, you will not solicipitate me!!!
