The Warning Signs Of Computer Addiction

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

The following appeared in the April 16 edition of "Making It: A Survival Guide
for Today" by Keith Robinson:

Case Study: Dave W.

"I was hip, trendy, happening. I bought a computer because it looked sexy on my
desk at home. I never intended to USE it. Then, for Christmas, my girlfriend
gave me a special program to catalog my compact discs."

(picture of software box that reads:
cdBASE+ Digital Index for your Digital Music)

"It took me a while to figure out how to use it, but soon I was showing it off."

(picture of Dave and friend; Dave says: "See? I click on the Shirley MacLaine

icon and it displays all my new age CDs!")

Warning Sign #1: Boring Your Friends

"After a while, I noticed my way of thinking changed: I wanted structure! I
sought new items for my database."

(picture of Dave typing away: "Ties: 4 Burgundy, 8 Pink...")

Warning Sign #2: Making Excuses To Use Computer

"Before long, I outgrew simply building lists. I craved logic! Flow! I found
myself in a computer store, asking how to program!"

(picture of "Nerds R Us" computer store, Dave says: "I need to know!")

Warning Sign #3: Hanging Out In Geek Stores

(Picture of salesman speaking to Dave: "The C language is ideal since the
machine-independent code is transportable to other systems simply by linking in
new I/O routines!")

Warning Sign #4: You Understood That

"3 weeks later, I had finished my first program."

(picture of Dave, saying: "It calculates tire rotation for the Volvo!")

"Before I knew it, I was staying up all night, programming."

(picture of Dave; wife calls, "Come to bed..."; Dave replies, "One more compile!
Just one more!")

Warning Sign #5: Thinking You Can Quit Anytime

"My personal appearance went downhill. I didn't care. My girlfriend left. I
lost my job. I didn't care. I had become, yes, a free-lance programmer!"

(picture of disheveled Dave in disheveled office, eating a Domino's pizza,
answering phone: "Hello, this is Red Eye Software...")

(picture of a person walking up to Dave, who is programming away; person says:
"Dave, I'm from the Nolan Bushnell Computer Rehabilitation Center. With a brief
hospital stay and minor shock therapy, we can break your addiction and..."

Dave: "Buzz off, doofus. I cleared $2 million last year."
Dave (to phone): "Yeah, Woz, I finished that fax interface:)

If you like what we have for you here on JokeTribe, please do consider donating to us. Any amount, even a small one, would truly be helpful.


About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.