The rich man would not be deterred. He got in his helicopter and flew to New York, to get one of the world's three remaining tis bottles, which was on top of the Empire State building." Weary, he returned to the bridge, and held out the tis bottle to the shaking hands of the grateful recipient. But the man was so nervous that he dropped the tis bottle, which shattered on the ground. The man (gee, let's call him Bob) dashed toward the edge of the bridge, but Fred (did I mention his name was Fred?) grabbed him and hauled him back. "Let me die," begged Bob, "for I have broken the tis bottle, and I shall never have another."
"Don't do it," said Fred. "You said there were three tis bottles, so there must be one left! Where do I have to go?" So he headed off to Paris in his jet to get the second tis bottle, which was on top of the Eiffel Tower. Days later he returned to the bridge, and handed the tis bottle to Bob. Bob began to dance gleefully, and in the throes of his joy, he dropped the tis bottle, which shattered. Fred rushed knowingly to him and said, "Look! Don't panic! There is another tis bottle! I will get it! I will guard it with my life!"
So Fred trekked deep into the jungles of Africa, and through much trial, many painful insect bites, and a week laid up with an unusual fever, he retrieved the last tis bottle from the dungeons of a forgotten city guarded by menacing, mutated white apes. After a week in a disease control center, he returned to the bridge, and there he found Bob, staring, waiting puppy dog-like for his last hope, the last tis bottle.
This time, Fred was ready, and caught the tis bottle when Bob dropped it. "Bob, " he said, "Let me carry the bottle to your house for you." Bob sheepishly agreed, and they went to his home, where Fred followed Bob into the cellar. There in the cellar were infinite rows of what resembled wine racks, containing thousands upon thousands of tiny bottles, with no vacant spaces, except the one to which Bob took Fred. Bob rubbed his hands together with excitement as Fred slid the bottle into its place. "Now tell me, " he asked, "Why, why, why, with all these bottles, was this one so important?"
Bob stiffened with pride. "I'm a patriotic man," he sternly replied. Seeing Fred's puzzled expression, he reached for a small wand hanging on the wall nearby. With it he tapped one at a time on the row of bottles containing the tis bottle, and to Fred's amazement, each one made a musical note, and Bob sang along,
"My country, tis of thee.."