* A CONSULTANT
- Any ordinary guy with a briefcase more than 50
miles from home.
* AN EXPERT
- A person who avoids all small errors and sweeps toward
the grand fallacy.
* A STATISTICIAN
- One who draws a mathematically precise line from
an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.
* A COLLEAGUE
- Someone called in at the last minute to share the
* A RELIABLE SOURCE
- The guy you just met.
* AN INFORMED SOURCE
- The guy who told the guy you just met.
* AN UNIMPEACHABLE SOURCE
- The guy who started the rumor
* A MEETING
- A mass mulling of master-minds.
* A CONFERENCE
- A place where conversation is substituted for the
dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.
* A PROGRAM
- Any assignment that can't be completed by one
- The guy who has a desk between two expeditors.
* TO ACTIVATE
- To make copies and add more names to the memo.
* TO IMPLEMEMT A PROGRAM
- Hire more people and expand the office.
* TO RESEARCH
- Go looking for the jerk who moved the files.
* TO GIVE SOMEONE THE PICTURE
- To present a long, confused and
innacurate statement to a newcomer.
* TO CLARIFY
- To fill in the background with so many details that
the foreground goes underground.