* A CONSULTANT- Any ordinary guy with a briefcase more than 50
miles from home.
* AN EXPERT- A person who avoids all small errors and sweeps toward
the grand fallacy.
* A STATISTICIAN- One who draws a mathematically precise line from
an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.
* A COLLEAGUE- Someone called in at the last minute to share the
blame.
* A RELIABLE SOURCE- The guy you just met.
* AN INFORMED SOURCE- The guy who told the guy you just met.
* AN UNIMPEACHABLE SOURCE- The guy who started the rumor
originally.
* A MEETING- A mass mulling of master-minds.
* A CONFERENCE- A place where conversation is substituted for the
dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.
* A PROGRAM- Any assignment that can't be completed by one
telephone call.
* CHANNELS- The guy who has a desk between two expeditors.
* TO ACTIVATE- To make copies and add more names to the memo.
* TO IMPLEMEMT A PROGRAM- Hire more people and expand the office.
* TO RESEARCH- Go looking for the jerk who moved the files.
* TO GIVE SOMEONE THE PICTURE- To present a long, confused and
innacurate statement to a newcomer.
* TO CLARIFY- To fill in the background with so many details that
the foreground goes underground.
